george carlin quotes government

!function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. 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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. George Carlin. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Well, we know what they want. Government is an important institution. They own you. var cookie = cookies[i]; Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Theres no present. George Carlin. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Ever. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. It will not be with jack-boots. setDisplayBids: function() {}, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. The planet is fine. You and I are not in the big club. Its never going to get any better. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). //]]>. " George Carlin When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. George Carlin. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; 3140. 2023 Inspirationfeed. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. } Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. 4. 3. Its interested in its own power. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. Every day we present the best quotes! (function() { If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Hes not a cheese. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? Lets get started! var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) return cookiePair[1]; At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Topics. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. Never argue with an idiot. - George Carlin profile quotes. window.csa("Config", { Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. return true; Lists. Try spelling Evian backward. ! George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Aparently we're not ready for that! George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? //]]> googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. Its a great feeling. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; This is what we have to offer. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Dont look for it. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. In America, anyone can become president. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. 1. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly fetchBids: function() { "Laugh often, long and loud. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Were so self-important. We made 'em up. Pictures. You have owners. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Deal with it. People are wonderful. Resources. A = p.createElement(s); When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. It takes up a lot of your time. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). They own you. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. They own everything. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes In America, anyone can become president. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. When you die, it all stays here. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; This is the best we can do folks. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. var url; The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. 4994. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. In America, anyone can become president. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. They own everything. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. He loves you and he needs money. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. }, }); George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. So arrogant. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. And armbands. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Right in the fucking head! My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue.

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george carlin quotes government